Before we go any further with these mindful parenting tips, it’s important to remember we are all human and we are all going to get it wrong at times.
So please don’t worry if it’s tricky, or seems like a lot, I get it.
But mindfulness is such a powerful tool for us and especially for our children to be able to harness when they need to.
It's easy to get caught up in the chaos of schedules, sports timetables, birthday parties and just general life. But, if you look hard enough in between all the hustle and bustle, there are tiny moments of what truly matters – the precious opportunities we share with our children.
When you choose to be a mindful parent, you are on a pathway to cultivate and nourish deeper connections simply by seeking out presence and intentionality.
Make mindfulness work for you
Finding the way to integrate mindfulness into daily activities is a complete game-changer. Rather than having to find extra time, you’re just tweaking the time you already have; bedtime, dinner time or stuck in the car. Here are three simple exercises families can do together.
I’ve been practising (perfectly imperfect) mindfulness on and off for over 10 years, here are my five go-to practical tips to help you and your family.
Start with Breath Awareness
How many times a day do you notice your own breathing? Only when it's too fast?
I find in moments of heightened feelings I zero in on how I'm breathing and if it’s making me feel worse than I need to I take a few mindful breaths. Close your eyes, inhale deeply, and exhale slowly. Encourage your children to join in, fostering a sense of calm and centeredness moment in day.
If you or your children have trouble falling asleep, I also do a modified version of this - depending on their age, I combine the slow breathing exercises with counting to a big enough number to completely relax them. If i’m doing it for myself i usually aim to count to 100, for my son (11) usually 50 or so is the max, if he’s not already asleep.
Engage in Mindful Media Consumption
In our home we have a “one screen rule” for my son, and mostly for us as parents too. It means if the TV is on, the ipad, or other handheld devices are off.
If he wants to play ipad - then the TV goes off and so on.
I should add we are definitely not anti screens, we have 3 TV’s, 3 ipads, 3 laptops, a desktop, ps5 AND a nintendo (between the 3 of us) - so I speak from experience.
It’s so easy to distract yourself from how you or your children are feeling with screens and background noise but I encourage you to try a version of this rule which works for your family.
We will also mute or at the very least, turn down the volume if one of us starts a conversation. It’s important to model validation and create a safe space for open communication and connection. Not in competition with the bright flashy lights of the latest device.
Take the scenic route
Instead of parking right at the school gate, park a bit further away and leisurely stroll towards the school grounds. When you’re walking around, try to take a moment in between chatting to pay attention to the sights, sounds, and sensations of nature.
Encourage your children to notice the noises of the trees or the magpies calling (hopefully not swooping!), or the weather in their face. This mindful walk should set your children up for a day of learning and having fun with their friends. Most kids don’t really enjoy just walking for the sake of it, but if they know it’s towards school and they get to see their favourite friends - I’m sure they’ll love it.
Make Meals More Mindful
Our friends at BBC have an excellent article for further information.
I try to encourage my family to eat slowly and attentively, savouring each bite.
But this is a constant battle - my husband works in emergency services, so he is always standing and wolfing down his food at home. To create a bridge between those of us who eat slower than that, we usually just sit and chat amongst dirty dishes for as long as we like. There’s no rush to clear away, or feel like we need to be doing something else (unless of course we actually do!)
You can help your children engage their senses by noticing the colours, textures, and flavours of the food. And even on the food they dislike, encourage them to describe what it is they don’t like - other than just the taste.
Daily Gratitude Checks
This is a big part of our daily routine. If you haven’t already, I recommend you go read this post for the three questions I ask my son daily which have had the most profound impact on us.
Childhood can be a lot for us, let alone our children who are actively working through it. So to encourage your children to express appreciation for the little things (often and easily) – a shared laugh in the day, or a simple hug from their favourite person, or even having their favourite food for dinner.
By acknowledging and remembering these moments, you and your children are actively cultivating a mindset of abundance and positivity within your family.
It’s important to lead by example
First of all, I get it. I’m not expecting you to become a mindful master overnight.
But as you know, as parents, our actions speak louder than words.
The way mindfulness works best if it’s practised often.
Show (age appropriate) vulnerability, practice self-compassion, and prioritise self-care and you will create a ripple effect that empowers your children to embrace mindfulness in their own lives.
Having a few mindful parenting techniques as part of your parenting journey is a continual practice, and it's not about perfection but rather about showing up with presence and intentionality in each moment.
